Pre-Requisite: Breathing

Restlessness

Have you ever just felt restless? Like it was time to make a move?  Like there’s something in you that needs something different?  Let’s call it dissatisfaction in current circumstances.

I’ve been feeling this way recently, and I’m not sure why, exactly.  But, being the over-analytical person I am, I have a few reasons.

I will be 26 in two months, which means I’m living through the tumultuous “Young Adult” age.  This is a time of great change.  College is over.  I no longer live at home, and 4 years out of college, I am no longer “green” or lacking in professional experience.  This is a time of great transition.  But the thing is, I’m not actually transitioning.  No.  See, everyone else around me is, but me…well, I think I’m stuck.  I didn’t mean to get stuck.  But here we are.

My friend group, primarily made up of those also in times of great transition, are doing what young adults “should” be doing.  They are transitioning.  And most of them have some pretty exciting things coming up! We’re talking engagements, marriages, babies, moving on to dream jobs–and I couldn’t be more thrilled! And I don’t say that so that I can move on and complain about how my life stacks up (though I probably will complain a bit).  I am genuinely so happy for all of my friends who are taking these big, sometimes scary steps in life so that they can grow as human beings and take hold of what God has for them.

But sometimes I’m like, “God, what about me?”  Now.  I know this is a dangerous place to be! Some of you reading (if anyone is…) are thinking to yourselves: “Oh, no.  She’s setting herself up for failure.”  And you’d be right.  Except, God got a hold of me last night and really rattled me.  So, I think I’m back on track to having normal, rational thoughts about this period in my life.

Here’s what I learned last night:  God has something special for me.  He wants me to live abundantly.

See, I had asked Him, “What do you have for me?”  When I first “heard” this answer from Him, I was like…”Well, isn’t that something.  Geez.  That’s what you have for everyone.  Great. Can I get a real answer, please?!?!”  But the more I thought about the answer to my question, the more I realized that this was a beautiful and exciting promise! Life abundant could mean a myriad of things, but what it most certainly means is God wants me to live.  Period! To experience life in all it’s fullness! See, at the time I asked this question, I was caught up in Atlanta rush hour traffic trying to get to church because apparently that’s the thing to do on a Wednesday night.  A perfect time to hear the answer.  But it wasn’t until 2 hours later, after my drive home, that I realized the validity of God’s answer.

I’ve been selfish of late.  I’ve lost perspective.  I’ve said, done, and acted out of some misled notions of what I’m “supposed” to do.  Or how I’m “supposed” to be.  Anyone else ever get caught up in going through the motions and having life “happen” to you?  Or am I the only one?

Going back to the comparison trap I was getting myself into just a few paragraphs above: God wants me to live abundantly, and that has nothing to do with anyone else’s life.  If God wanted me any different, or my life to turn out any differently, I am certain He is capable enough to have built me in any number of ways instead of the one He chose to.  But as we can see, He made me this way.  On purpose.  I just need to believe that truth, even when I’m not measuring up to the World’s timeline, or my own, of when things are “supposed” to happen.

God made me different, and different is ok.

My self-worth isn’t based on how much money I make, how much I weigh, whether or not people like me, where I live, how many places I’ve traveled to, how many job offers I can receive, or on whether or not I have found “the one.”  In fact, my self-worth isn’t based on anything to do with me at all.  My worth has absolutely nothing to do with me–but Christ who deemed me worthy when He died on the cross for me.  Breathing is the only per-requisite for that kind of worthiness–and what a blessing to know I can’t do anything to have it taken from me!

I’m worthy because God says so.

So what matters then, is not how I can have the most impact personally, but rather where I can impact God’s Kingdom the most.

It’s about relationships.  It’s about people.
There are so many lost and hurting people in the world.  How could I not want to help them see their own worth in Christ?

I need to find me some perspective so I can quit whining to God.  I have been blessed abundantly.  I therefore reject dissatisfaction and restlessness based on emotion, and apart from the Leading of God.  Because at the end of the day, God doesn’t care about my bank account, or how my life compares to anyone else’s.  I’m not less worthy of love because my life isn’t in some huge state of transition.  I’m not less worthy of God’s love than anyone else on earth, in fact!

I’m worthy because God says so.  And that’s good enough for me.

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Comments
6 Responses to “Pre-Requisite: Breathing”
  1. laurajdake says:

    I often have these kinds of thoughts and worries. I’m much older and still transitioning and needed this reminder! Thanks Lindsey.

    • Love you, girl! It’s good to know I’m not the only one! Sometimes I think Satan likes to make us feel alone in our afflictions. But the Devil is a lie! Thanks for sharing!

  2. I feel like this all the time. I always have to stop and remind myself that everything works out and to stop trying to rush through it all.

  3. Stay who you are! ‘Cause that’s awesome!

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